Breaking Ties
by TwilightAddiction6
Summary: Years after Party Time&things aren't going well with Charlie&Rob.Charlie is convinced he's cheating on her. After a heated argument, he tells her he doesn't love her anymore&a heartbroken Charlie is forced to leave. But are things all they seem to be?
1. Chapter 1

**Breaking Ties**

_Meaning; A conclusion to a part of a life or time, or a termination._

* * *

**Insensate**

I washed the plates up from tonight, watching Edward and Elizabelle play outside in the garden. I was used to the same old routine, but I was bored too. All there ever was, was washing up to do; especially when Alainah was born four years ago. I hadn't wanted any more Kids after Edward was born, but more, I got.

Rob was the one to be so…persistent in having more Kids, but I wasn't going to be having anymore from now on. Two years ago, I had…well, I lost my Baby. Our, little Boy. It stung me even now just to think about it. I quickly moved on from that sad part of my life and thought about the Kids that I had got. Elizabelle, Edward and Alainah. Little Allie; as I nicknamed her. Because she was quite petite, even for a four year old.

The three best thing of my life was my three, gorgeous Children. I was so proud of each and everyone of them, because my Children were really so talented. They took after their Father in that way. Edward played the piano and the violin. Edward had been taking music lessons at his Elementary school, and Rob had given his son weekly lessons on the piano and guitar. He was already so musically talented, just like his Father and he had the most beautiful, little voice that I had ever heard.

And Edward was the most gorgeous, little Boy ever, at eight years old. He really looked like his Father, but with blonder hair. He definitely reminded me of Rob when he was younger. With the light blonde hair, like Rob's as a Child. And then there was my oldest; Elizabelle at ten. She was just as talented as Edward and Rob. She wanted to be an actress, so she went to Drama Club at her Elementary School for school in her last year and she often practiced at the school in the theatre there.

And she was so gorgeous too. The most gorgeous, little Girl ever. She had a pale complexion; beautiful in every way with rosy cheeks too. She had gorgeous, auburn hair which was curly and long. She wore her bangs just above her gorgeous, brown eyes; hiding her eyebrows. And then there was my gorgeous, little Girl.

Alainah was just four years old, the youngest Child of mine and Rob's. she was the only Child to really look like me; with short, brown hair. She always wore her favorite pink hair clip in her hair, and she had my dark brown eyes too. I looked back outside the window, and watched Elizabelle chase around Edward. I laughed once and returned my gaze to the washing up again. It was good to see them two joking around together.

Elizabelle and Edward were always together because there was only a slight, two year gap between the two of them, so they were really close. It was good to see that them two relied on each other as much as Siblings all should. I heard footsteps down the stairs then; telling me that Rob was done with putting Alainah to sleep upstairs. I sighed heavily in response, knowing that I should make more of an effort with him, but knowing that I probably couldn't.

These last two years had been extremely difficult for us as a couple. Because, since I had…miscarried, I couldn't seem to spend a minute with him without…thinking of _him_, and thinking about what I had lost. I despised Rob for my miscarriage and he wasn't helping things by keep trying to get me to have another Baby with him. Because it wasn't going to work, because I didn't want another Baby. Why would I when I had had to have another Baby, dead on arrival at five months?

I had had one tiny hold of my little Baby before he was so cruelly taken away from me, and I were rushed into burial plans. I was still grieving for our Baby when we had to make all these stupid decisions about burial and everything! I wouldn't have coped anyway, but with so close to the death…I couldn't take it. And Rob was trying to be comforting, which only made me hate him even more. He tried to pretend that everything would go back to normal after the death of our Son, and I wasn't having it.

I would _never_ get over the death of our Son and the more that he tried to convince me to have another Baby; the more ticked off I was with him. But nevertheless, I was trying to get on with normal things whilst I could for the sake of our marriage. I would never end things between us, no matter how stressful things got between us. We had three Children between us, and he was still the Father of my Children. No matter how many arguments we had, I would always love him as my Husband.

But the last month had also been difficult between us; Rob's film was cancelled last month and his agent was practically turning his back on Rob. He had said that he would be there for Rob, no matter how his career took on, and that he would find work for Rob, but…we had got no call from him since. Rob had been lounging around the house lazily for the last month, but he was trying to take the effort around the Kids…any other time he was getting drunk when the kids were around and I was beyond the point of despair with helping him get out of this depression that had seemed to be getting hold of him.

I heard him walk into the kitchen and I threw him a smile as I continued to wash up the remainder of the plates that I had to finish. I heard him walk to the sink and grab a can of beer, and I didn't try to stop him. Wrong or right.

Alainah was in bed and Elizabelle and Edward would be going to their bedroom to study for an hour before they went to bed too. So we had the whole night just to relax now. Not that we ever really did; I always stressed about the Children be alright, and I would keep going up and checking on them.

"Did Alainah go down alright?" I asked him, without looking at him. I heard him pull out the kitchen chair out for him to sit on before he replied to my worried question. I was always worrying; that was my problem.

"Yeah, she was fine. I read her the Beauty and Beast book that she's fallen in love with." He replied, snickering.

I laughed once in response to that. "She really loves that book. Hasn't stopped reading it since we came back from London." I replied truthfully.

It was his Parents fault; since we had spent the week in London two months ago with his Parents-allowing the Children to spend more time with their Grandparents-we were forced to read Alainah the Beauty and the Beast book because she had fallen in love with in when Rob's Mum, Claire had read it to her that first time.

"I know. I had to read it to her three times, before she finally agreed to go to sleep." He admitted jokingly. I grinned in response, and looked out of the window again to see Elizabelle and Edward were sat down on the cool grass outside now.

"I better go and get them inside." I sighed as I dried my hands. There was just the wiping up to do now, and I imagined that I would be doing that just like every other day when I had to do all the clearing up.

"They have an hour still." Rob replied unbothered.

"Until their bedtimes, yes. But they want to go to their bedroom and study for their homework; its due in tomorrow." I replied sourly. He always seemed to forget about how important homework was just because he never used to do his school homework.

I mean, I never used to either but I wanted the Children to do well at school. It was the most important thing; education. They needed to keep their head down and do their best; then they would get the best possible education. I was sure of it. I walked slowly outside and heard the Children's free, happy laughter as I headed towards them.

They were sat on the outskirts of the trees that followed into the meadow, and laughing happily…that was until Edward looked up and saw me walking over. He groaned in response, and rolled his eyes. I laughed in response, shaking my head at him as I walked over there. He had a cheek when he knew he had homework!

"Don't roll your eyes at me young man! You have homework to do!" I warned him, pretending to glare at him. He laughed in response, with Elizabelle giggling in her girly voice as she always did.

"Fine, fine Mom! I'll come quietly!" He gave in automatically. I laughed in response, watching him get up from the grass and brushing himself down. Elizabelle sighed and did the same; knowing that she wouldn't be able to win either.

"Mom, this is so unfair, you know that! I could do my homework in the morning." Elizabelle suggested as she flung her backpack on her shoulder, from the grass. I shook my head in response. There was no way that I was going to let her get away with rushing homework.

"Oh no young lady; homework is _not_ for rushing." I warned her, rustling both my Children's hair.

"EW, MOM!" They both exclaimed in distaste. I laughed in response, and walked them back to the house with my arm on each side of my Children's shoulder as we talked about their School and how they liked it there.

It made me so happy to know that they liked it as much as they said they did. I wanted them to be very happy with their school. It was a Parents job to worry about their Children like how I always was. Rob was waiting in the kitchen to say goodnight to his Children. I walked into the kitchen to let him say goodnight to Elizabelle and Edward. Despite whenever he got drunk; his Kids always came first to Rob.

"Hey, night kids." He grinned at them, getting up from the kitchen table. Elizabelle grinned at him; wrapping him right round her little finger like she so easily could. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him on the lips.

"Night Dad." She replied, putting her head on his chest as she hugged him. I smiled, watching Edward give his Dad a hug too. Even though Edward was embarrassed when it came to kissing right now. He barely managed a kiss on the lips to his Parents, these days.

"Night Dad." Edward said too, before walking back out of the kitchen.

"Night Mom." Elizabelle grinned at me. She wrapped her arms around me, and kissed me. I smiled and rested my head on top of hers.

"Night sweetie." I kissed the top of her head sweetly before she pulled away from me quickly. I smiled as she disappeared before Edward awkwardly waved at me. I laughed in response and pulled him swiftly into my arms. He was so not escaping his Mothers kisses and cuddles.

"Night Mom."

I kissed his forehead gently. "Night honey." I watched him walk up the stairs, smiling as he shuffled up them. He looked just like Rob when he did that; lazily shuffling his weight up the stairs.

I walked back into the kitchen and looked towards the kitchen table. Rob was still sat there, drinking his can of beer. I shrugged and got the wine out of the fridge, and poured myself a glass; now that the Kids were busy.

"So…Kids are upstairs, the washing up's done." I looked to the sink to see that he was right; everything was cleared out of the way. That was a very nice surprise to walk back into the house to.

"Well…thanks. That's a nice surprise." I replied gratefully. It meant a lot to see the side clear, without me having to do it for once. It was definitely less stressful too. I drank a sip of the white wine that I had poured out for myself.

"That's okay…do you want to go in the living room? I rented out a film today for us to watch." He asked me. That was unlike him; usually we just sat watching the television, curled up on either sofa.

Sometimes, if we were both in an excellent mood; we would curl up on the sofa, with his strong arms wrapped around me. God, I missed that. We were never really that close anymore; not to snuggle up to each other.

"Yeah, I'd love to." I replied, because it was true. It would be nice to unwind a little bit, and relax for the night…without having to stress about the kids. Alainah was tucked up in bed and Elizabelle and Edward were busy studying.

And I knew they wouldn't lie to me about that because they didn't really mind with their school work really.

I followed him out into the hallway, with my bottle of wine in hand and followed him into the living room where it was snuggly and warm. I watched him sit on the sofa after putting the DVD in and wondered to myself if it would be right to sit next to him. How stupid did that sound? My own Husband and I was wondering to myself if I should go and sit next to him! I poured myself some more wine, and went to sit down next to him; surprising him a little bit. He moved away a little bit which didn't go unnoticed by me. I frowned angrily at him because the fact was he never snuggled up to me anymore.

When was the last time we had even made love? Months ago! We were never close enough as how I wanted to be. I shifted closer and snuggled up to him; feeling his body freeze from underneath me. I sighed heavily in response.

"I want to be close to my Husband. Is that too much to ask for?" I asked him angrily. He sighed too, wrapping his arms around me then and pressing me closer to him. Finally! The reaction that I had been begging from him!

I wasn't used to him holding me like this for months! But god, it felt so good. To be close to him like this was so nice. I didn't need sex from him; I needed him close to me for once. I enjoyed the closeness like this.

"Of course it isn't…it's a surprise, that's all. A good surprise, mind you." He added quickly, kissing me once softly on the top of my forehead lightly. He was right to be surprised; this closeness in the two years between us had totally gone thanks to my losing the Baby and sex…well, we only ever made love after a while. It didn't even bother me anymore.

"Uh hum…good, I'm glad to hear." I replied, welcoming his arms as the film began. It was a good film; a romance and the typical romantic film that I enjoyed watching. We carried on drinking through the night, and the more that the alcohol got to me, the closer we got. And after the film was finished too, I only had one thing in mind.

"That was a good film; did you like it?" Rob asked me from the television. He put the DVD back in the box as I got up from the sofa and walked over to him. He ignored me at first; like how he always did.

"Yep, I did…and now; I want to finish off the night." I confirmed, grabbing the DVD from him and putting on the side. He watched me confused, so I stepped forward and pressed my arms around his neck.

I pushed my face to his before he could stop me and kissed him; and _really_ kissed him for the first time in a month; the last time we had made love. He didn't even bother to try and stop me; the real Rob came out instead. He kissed me back with irresistible force and pushed me backwards. I fell into the wall behind me, gasping in shock slightly before I let him deepen our kiss. He moaned into my mouth, sending waves of delight down my body.

He pressed his hand to the small of my back, touching me through my tank top. It didn't stay on for long though. He began to pull the top up, but I stopped him because I knew where I wanted this to head for. I wanted us to _really_ make love as a couple, as a married couple when we would tonight. I wanted us to really give ourselves to each other tonight, not just have sex like we had for the last two years. I wanted it to mean something.

"Lets go upstairs." I begged him breathlessly, as I pulled away from him. I took his hands in mine and pulled him backwards with me, through the living room door; seeing nothing but lust fill his persuading, intense eyes as we headed into the hallway. I shivered again.

Because Rob wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I could see it in his eyes, the way he stared over me and revealed just how much he _wanted_ me. And I was ready to finally go with it; to finally make love to my Husband.

"Let's." He agreed just as breathlessly, lacing our fingers together as we headed up the stairs together. I turned round to watch where I was going, keeping our hands locked together as I guided him up the stairs with me.

We hurried to the bedroom as soon as we were on the landing, and I couldn't wait for this to happen. To really feel again with him. It had been ages since we were so in love, like how we used to be. When we were younger, making love was just for fun; we had a laugh, and we had time for each other. I wanted it to be like that now; we could still be like that now. We could save our relationship before it was too late.

We could go on holiday, get our marriage back on track and then come home, back to the Kids, when everything between us was sorted out. We needed that time together to really sort our marriage out. I turned to him at the bedroom door, and his lips pressed down onto mine urgently before I could stop him. Not that I would have done, anyway. Our mouths crashed together with each furious kiss as we headed backwards to the bed.

His hands pulled up my tank top again, and I let him remove it from my body. I shoved it to the floor, before I crashed my lips back onto his; my hands going to his shirt buttons and forcefully opening each one as quickly as I could. I had never wanted him as much as I did now. He helped me with the buttons, before throwing that to the floor too. I moaned in response as he picked me up and thrust his tongue deep inside my mouth as we clambered for the bed; my legs tucked tight around each side of his heavenly body.

He put me down on the bed, clambering on top as soon as he had. He pressed his body to mine eagerly; his masculine, toned chest pressing hard against my own naked chest, and sending shivers down me again. His thumping heart raced against my own in anticipation, so that I couldn't work out which racing, excited heartbeat belonged to who.

Our deepened kiss carried on and on, despite our breathlessness, as his hands trailed my body eagerly. He thrust his jean-covered body into mine, making me moan in response, and reply with each needy thrust of my own. I trailed my hands across his toned abs, feeling each one ripple underneath my fingers. I shivered in delight and trailed my hands down to the top of his jeans. I pressed my hands over the top of them; feeling the slight arousal even through his jeans.

He moaned in response as I rubbed my hands across his arousal…once, twice and a third time before I had enough. I undone the button on his jeans, and hurriedly unzipped the zipper on them too. His hands carried on before I could stop them; starting to remove his jeans from his legs. I pressed my hands on top of his and helped him pull away his jeans. He stopped to take them off and threw them on the floor too.

He hesitated above me, watching me now with those intense, grey eyes. I watched him back; taking in the pure lust that filled his eyes and shivered again. I so badly wanted to make the most of this but I was also dying to feel him inside of me again. I laced my arms around his neck, pressing my hands to the back of his neck, as he lowered his face back to mine. His lips pressed to mine, softly at first; until letting the urgency leak through them as his mouth moved above mine.

And then, I pressed my mouth harder against his; the urgency in me coming alive again and pulling me to him. I wrapped my legs back around him; feeling his arousal hit me more through my jeans. He moaned in response, feeling my own arousal too, and let his hands trail down my stomach quickly, and to my jeans. He undid them in a hurry, and I lifted my hips off of the bed to help him take them off. He removed them in a hurry, making me laugh in response as he threw the clothing to the floor.

He looked back at me with the same intense eyes, making me stop laughing automatically. God, he was so beautiful and I could never really get enough. Even after eleven years together as a couple, he managed to amaze me. I pushed him back onto the bed and pressed my hands to the top of his boxers. He didn't stop me taking them off, revealing all of his beauty to me now that he was naked. And I couldn't help but shiver in delight.

He was glorious; every single part of his body was made in heaven. He was so beautiful and I had to wonder why somebody like him was still with me. It was too difficult to understand why he would have ever wanted to marry me in the first place. I took his face in mine and kissed him softly; with him pressing his arms around me, and holding me closer to him. I was so happy to call him _mine_. It meant a lot to me to have been with someone that I adored more than my own life for such a long time.

I was brought up to think like that. I was brought up to believe that love was irreplaceable, that love conquered all, and that love wasn't just found in stupid, one night stands. My Nan was right; once I found Rob, I had never wanted anyone else in the world. And I never would.

"I love you." I gasped out breathlessly after pulling away from him. I needed him to know that, I needed him to understand that I really did love him, even if we never really showed it anymore. I wanted him to know.

He smiled in response, pressing one of his hands to one side of my face. "I know…I love you too." He promised me, making me smile. Because I already knew that anyway, but it was such a relief to hear it again after so many months. I returned my lips to his, trying to stay patient as we kissed. Tonight would be the night when we would finally be together properly after these two, difficult years.

***

* * *

_Meaning of Insensate; being foolish or stupid._


	2. Regret

**Regret**

_meaning of regret; to feel sorry or wish hadn't happened_

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a small headache, not really remembering much from the night before. I looked over at the side of the bed, expecting to find it empty like it had been for the last couple of weeks.

It wasn't.

I grinned happily as I saw that Rob was laid next to me, in our bed again; where he should be. Instead of in the spare bedroom where he had been for the past couple of weeks. I ran my eyes across his face slowly, taking in his beauty.

His eyes were softly closed in his peaceful sleep a loose smile playing across his mouth. His hair was erratic; strands flying here, there and everywhere but he was so beautiful like that. He looked best in the morning, in his sleep.

I started to hope after we had made love last night.

Because I started to hope that maybe if we could be like this again; he might get himself over this depress that he had found himself in after a lack of work. After all, I had faith in him; I knew that he could find more acting jobs.

All he had to do was try instead of sitting around all day; getting drunk and watching too much television! He had a talent and he I believed in him to use his talent wisely instead of sitting around, not doing anything.

Money wasn't a problem; we had enough money to live on for the next ten years at least, but…I just wanted him to make the most of his skills. He was such a talented actor and it was a shame to ruin that talent by not ruining his chance.

I looked back at the clock on his side of the table and sighed. It was seven in the morning and I knew that I had to get up to sort the Children's lunches out, ready for school. And then, I also had to sort out about my agent coming round today.

God!

I had planned to cook her a lunch when she came round to see me about my newest book that I had managed to catch her attention with. It was the last book of the Tainted Soul series, and I couldn't wait to get it published.

So I got up, wrapping my nightdress around me, and walking to the bathroom to have a shower. I walked back and chose my clothing to wear for the day quietly because Rob was still fast asleep in bed.

I put on a dress for once; a grey, checked dress which looked nice on. I never usually wore dresses; I usually wore casual tops and jeans when I was at home with the Kids, but because I was in such a happy mood; I wanted to dress up.

Especially if I had to cook this dinner for my agent. I thought it would be nice to talk when she came round to talk about publishing this book. And it seemed even the Kids were shocked with me wearing a dress.

''Mommy, you look so pretty!'' Elizabelle gasped in shock as she walked downstairs to get her breakfast. I grinned, wondering if I must have looked really trampy usually for her to say that. Obviously, I must have done.

''Thanks sweetie. Mommy's trying a different look because Clara's coming round the house today.'' I told her as I cooked her some toast to eat. Usually, she just had fruit, but I didn't want her to just have that all of the time.

She needed a proper breakfast.

''It suits you Mommy. I think you should keep that look.'' She insisted, making me laugh. She sat down at the kitchen table and waited for her breakfast to be ready for her to eat. Edward was the next person to walk downstairs, and I threw him a grin as he sat at the kitchen table.

He smiled back. ''Wow Mom…you look very pretty!'' He complimented me; unusual for Edward really. I carried on grinning as I cooked him some toast to eat too.

''Thank you Edward. Would you like some toast to eat before you go to school?'' I was going to cook him some toast anyway because he was just as bad with his eating habits as Elizabelle. But I asked anyway.

''Yes please.'' He replied politely.

I wondered when Rob would be up, ready to say goodbye to the Children before they go to school. I hoped it was soon because it was getting on for twenty past seven and the Children were to leave for school in ten minutes.

I heard heavy footsteps walking down the stairs after I had given the Children their breakfast and had started making the Children their sandwiches. That told me that Rob was finally up, and probably with Alainah in arms, by the sound of the Girly chatting that I could hear from the hallway.

I got the Children's pack lunch ready and turned around just as Rob walked into the kitchen with Alainah in his arms too. She was so lazy that madam and he carried her all the time rather than let her walk.

She reached for me, and I took her from him quickly; wrapping my arms around my little Girl. I kissed he softly, pushing her dark hair back from her forehead. ''Hello gorgeous.'' I said, kissing her cheek again and making her giggle a little bit.

Rob sat down at the table with the Kids after kissing Elizabelle and Edward and I handed Alainah her toast to take with her at the table. I gave the Kids a glass of water instead of juice; because they never drank much juice.

Rob looked at me then, unsure of what to do after last night. I rolled my eyes at my useless Husband and lowered my lips to his to kiss him softly. I pulled away again after we had kissed…once, twice…and another time and sat down at the kitchen table.

Elizabelle watched, grinning before looking away and finishing her toast. At ten years old, she was far too clever. I guessed that she had guessed that things were a bit…difficult with us because we never even kissed in front of the Children in the last year or so.

''So…what lessons have you got today?'' I asked Elizabelle and Edward as I drank my glass of water. I always asked them what lessons they had, because I liked to take an interest and know everything.

''The usual stuff; biology, P.E. and math too.'' Elizabelle replied with a shrug of her shoulders. I smiled in response, because that was the usual answer from her. She always brushed her lessons aside so casually, even though she was so clever.

I looked to Edward, getting a sheepish smile in response and a hand running through the top of his hair; just like his Father. ''Ur…I've got math too…and DT food.'' He replied, making me confused.

''I didn't think you did D.T. at school, Edward?'' I asked him confused. I was probably wrong; because everything was going so fast these days, and he was growing up so fast these days; I didn't know what he got up to.

''Yeah…I started last week.''

''Oh…are you liking it?'' I asked him.

He talked all about his D.T. class on the way to school when I dropped them to school in our Volvo. I waved goodbye to them and watched them head into the school gates after they had both given me a kiss on the cheek and turned back round to go and take Alainah to her nursery.

I dropped her off at her classroom, gave her lots of kisses goodbye and ran out just as the paparazzi caught me outside. I ran past them and got into the car, driving off as they all tried to take a picture and ask questions about Alainah.

I found it uncomfortable when they tried to ask questions and take pictures of the Kids. Rob warned them off of it as much as he possible could, but they didn't listen. They never did, because they were impolite and didn't respect our privacy.

I drove home listening to The Beatles; Golden Slumbers. Rob was going to write that song soon; not to release it, because he didn't want a career in music, but for the family. He sung it to Elizabelle every night since she had been born, and it had become her lullaby now.

He always sung it to Edward and Alainah too; but Edward wasn't very much like the Girls. It was Alainah and Elizabelle who always preferred their Father's voice rather than his Son; he didn't really mind it.

I walked into the house to see that Patty, the Dog was scratching the front door now. She was getting old now; she was ten years old, but she was doing well. I put her lead on and took her for a quick walk around to the park and back before coming back home with her.

Rob could have done that whilst I was dropping the kids off at Nursery and School, but no. He was probably watching television upstairs. It wasn't a surprise; because his acting career wasn't going too well at the minute, he hadn't been doing much at all.

I didn't mind it too much; he was home with the Kids a lot now, but a bit of initiative wouldn't have gone a miss either. Like cleaning up a little bit more for me when I came home from picking and dropping the kids up and when I had to write my books.

I released her from her lead and let her walk into the house at her own pace. I smiled in response and walked into the kitchen to prepare lunch for my Agent early this afternoon when she came round.

I had a lot to do now; because I had to print my last book for Tainted Soul out for her to read and get her to tell me what she thought of it. I really wanted this published, and I started to make her favorite cherry pie-making it small, incase she wasn't too hungry-when Rob's arms wrapped around me, making me sigh.

''Are you busy?'' He asked me against my neck; sucking one side of my neck. If he thought that this was going to lead to sex then he was wrong. I pushed him away from me and put the cherry pie in the oven to cook.

''Just a bit!'' I replied stressfully. I didn't mean to sound pissed off but I did have a lot to do and I knew that when he was in these moods, he just wanted…well; we would usually just end upstairs, but I was busy.

''Well…cant you sit down for five minutes?'' He asked me, sounding disappointed. I huffed in response; clearly he didn't know how much I had to do today. I had to prepare for her coming round here too.

I mean; I didn't have to but it would have looked better if I did. She liked my dinners that I cooked for her.

''Not really Rob…that's why I said I'm busy.'' I replied sourly, trying to get everything sorted as I checked on her favorite dinner; spaghetti bolognaise that I was cooking her. It wasn't a suck up; I was having some too. (With vegetarian bolognaise, of course)

But I just wanted to have a nice lunch, and get her opinion on my book…without him stressing me out. I would even cook him lunch after everything was sorted out if he was hungry, because he couldn't seem to do a simple thing now that his career wasn't going too well.

''And you cant spare five minutes for your Husband?'' He demanded, instantly making me furious because of how he put it like that. I slammed the oven door closed and turned around to glare at him.

''Don't you think I'm busy enough as it is? When you say five minutes; what you actually mean is two hours upstairs in bed, right?'' I demanded because I was angry. I didn't mean to just say it like that, but it was true.

When he was in these moods; it wasn't me that he wanted. It was just sex; and I was far too busy to be messing about. He could be so…infuriating sometimes. It didn't even see like he was looking at me, besides last night.

''Well…I'm sorry, but your Wife is busy. And…you could at least help me a little bit. You could have taken Patty for a walk while I was gone!'' I shouted at him, because he was seriously stressing me out.

''Yeah, yeah; I'll do everything-''

''You're so fucking selfish!'' I interrupted him angrily. He had a cheek; he hadn't done anything in the last month, besides sing his children to sleep. I had to fucking do it all! I didn't give a shit if his stupid career was going sour.

It was about time if you asked me.

''Oh, I'm selfish?'' He retorted back furiously; sounding as though I was being completely ridiculous.

''Yes, you Rob! I have been the one out; dropping the Children at nursery, and school. I'm the one who had to take Patty for a walk again. And you; you sit in this fucking house all day, doing nothing.'' He shook his head furiously in response, about to say something; but I didn't stop there either.

''And why? Because you're stupid poxy career is over! Well let me tell you something; life fucking goes on!'' I shouted at him; slamming the kitchen door behind him as he stormed out of the kitchen, huffing at me.

Ugh! He was my Husband and I loved him; but he made me feel so fucking angry sometimes! It wasn't my fault that his career had finished and I was fed-up of him sat around the house; doing nothing all the time.

If he wanted work; he couldn't just sit on his arse. He had to do something! How difficult was it to go out and get a new agent; look for parts in films that fitted him. But nope…he had to mope around the house, watching television all day, getting drunk and sleeping as the Kids were at school and then act like everything was normal again until the Kids went to bed.

Well I was having no more!

I'd had this for the last month; putting on a brave face when the Kids were round and making it seem like everything was okay for the Children's sake. I didn't want them to know that we were having marriage problems because I wanted the Kids to all be happy and have the most normal childhood possible.

How the fuck were they supposed to do that with Rob acting like this all the time? He was bound to get caught by one of our Children acting like a jerk and then what? How was he going to explain to him about why we were arguing, and why he was drinking so heavily?

I sat down at the kitchen table, trying to chill myself down because I was shaking with rage. I couldn't finish off getting ready for Katie, my agent to come around the house. I was too angry to even clean up the house, now.

I dried the small amount of moisture away from my eyes from where I had cried. Luckily, it was only a small amount of tears; I had only cried a little bit because of how furious I was with everything going on right now.

And then Rob had to walk in. I took one look at him and knew that he had seen me crying; his eyes gave it away. The worry obvious in them. I groaned embarrassedly and got up from the kitchen table.

''Charlie, love.'' I knew that voice; that was his sentimental, worried voice. I didn't want to hear it; I was too angry with him right now to really sit down and let it all out right now. I had too much stuff to do anyway.

''I don't want to hear it!'' I shouted angrily; turning around from the kitchen table and drying the tears that were falling faster from my eyes now. It was because he was here now. I hadn't wanted him to catch me crying.

''Well tough!'' He shouted back at me, shocking me. He spun me around; his hold on my wrist tightening as he stared down at me annoyed. I dried my tears again, watching him confused as he lost his patience with me.

''Why wont you talk to me; as in really talk to me? For the last two years you haven't talked to me about anything! What about our Baby?'' He asked me, making me gasp in shock as he mentioned it.

I slapped him across his face before I knew what I was doing; furious with him for mentioning it. My temper had boiled over until it reached boiling point and I couldn't take it anymore…but never would I have thought that I would slap him like how I had.

He kept his head to the side, eyes wide in shock. He was in just as much shock as I was about me slapping him. He had a red mark on one side of his face where I had really just let go and slap him.

He looked really angry too; angrier than I had ever seen him look before about anything. And I was too chicken to face it.

I gasped again, holding my shaking hand to my face in shock as I realized that I really had slapped him and ran out of the kitchen before he could stop me. I ran up the stairs and into our bedroom; safely able to admit that I was actually terrified about his reaction.

He looked so angry with me when I had been stood downstairs that…well, I was half expecting a slap back from him. Even the thought of it made me feel stupid; he would never have hurt me but…something was tugging me from the corner of my sanity…something was making me think like this and I didn't have a clue on why that was.

I sunk down to the bed and tried to control my freaking out. It didn't work…I sobbed uncontrollably into my hands because of Rob and our failing marriage and the Baby Boy that we had both lost.

Where had things gone so wrong between us? We were fine two years ago; we were so happy like how we had always been. I loved him more than my own life and he made me more happy than I could have ever been with anyone else.

And even when I was pregnant with our Baby Boy-Angel, I had called him when he was born and had died-I was so happy, right until our Baby died when I was rushed into labor at eight months pregnant.

That was where it had all gone wrong. I was in tears everyday; refusing to allow Rob close to me when he tried to comfort me over our Baby…because it wasn't enough. I didn't want him; I wanted my Baby.

And my Baby was dead.

Rob gave up trying to do anything for me in the end; because I just wouldn't let him close to me and it was tearing us both apart. This had been boiling for the whole of the two years, and it had only boiled over now.

Rob losing work had just been the icing on the cake.

Everything was going wrong for us and after eleven years together-ten years as wife and husband-I wasn't sure that…well, I just wasn't sure if I just wanted to keep my head up and pick our marriage up again anymore.

I wasn't too sure what I wanted right now, but I knew that I definitely couldn't wait to see my Kids when they got home tonight. Just to be able to hug them again, and pretend that this wasn't happening.

To pretend that our marriage wasn't tearing apart from all directions.

I heard my agent, Katie shout up that she was here now and with a gasp of shock; I jumped from the bed; preparing myself to look alright and wide awake. I tapped my face with a dry towel and walked downstairs slowly.

I ignored my doubts and regrets that I had about me and Rob's marriage for the minute and took a deep breathe to prepare myself. I walked into the kitchen to see her sat down at the table and I instantly put my professional face on as I watched Rob storm past me.

Katie looked pretty today. Her golden hair was long and wavy and she had on a smart black suit to go with her far too big, professional bag that she always took with her anywhere that she really didn't need.

She looked round in shock and watched Rob storm off angrily; her forehead furrowed in confusion as she did. Her blue eye-shadow was similar to her sea green, kind eyes colored that she had.

''What's his problem?'' She asked offended. I sighed in response, waiting to hear our bedroom door slam shut before I hunched myself over to the kitchen chair opposite him before I half-explained to her.

''I wont worry about it…its not you. We're just…having some problems.'' Some serious problems…I added mentally to myself with a heavy sigh. It did kinda worry me saying it like that too.

The first step was always to admit the problems that you were facing, but…I hated saying it out loud. It just made everything that much more obvious. ''He's practically got no agent now.'' I confessed; hoping he didn't hear me say that to her.

He would hate it if he knew that I was talking about him like this. He didn't want sympathy; he found all that far too embarrassing. I didn't really blame him, but…I didn't know how much more I could take of this.

''What kind of problems?'' She asked me; instantly putting her paperwork away and looking back to me. I stared at her hard, knowing that I might just confess everything to her in a minute or two. She had that kind of face.

That kind, polite face that made you realize that she really did want you to tell her; that she wanted to understand and try to help in some way. Katie was so kind like that, but…I didn't want Rob to think that I was just relying on other people, either.

''I don't know if I should say…its kind of private.'' I admitted, feeling like I was letting Rob down by talking about this. Nobody knew that I had lost the Baby; not even the Girls knew about it.

When I had lost the Baby, I had been too ashamed about anybody knowing. Rob had kept his promise about not telling Kellan, Tasha, Rachael, Jackson, Kirsty or Aston about me losing this Baby, and I couldn't help but think…maybe, I should do the same.

She shrugged. ''Well…I wont tell anyone, if you want to tell me.'' She promised me; sending me over the edge now. I had to tell somebody; it was driving me insane! How could I tell Rob about how I was feeling when I felt like I couldn't talk to him anymore?

''Two years ago…I lost a Baby.'' I admitted, forcing myself to say it out loud for the first time out-loud in two years. I looked down at the table and forced myself to carry on speaking. ''Things…are getting Rob down…because of him getting hardly any work lately too.'' I admitted, keeping it simple.

I didn't want to say the truth; that things were not working out with me and Rob. That our marriage was on the verge of collapsing because of this whole mess that was happening between us.

''I'm…god, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what you two were going through…that was when you published the third book to follow-up Tainted Soul.'' She remembered, leaning over the kitchen table and taking my hand in hers.

''Yeah…Rob is the only person who knows. I tried to…er to get on with things for the Kids sakes…because I couldn't even talk about it myself, let alone explain it to them…but…when he stayed with me for the book singings and things…I couldn't stand it.'' I admitted, struggling not to carry on talking and say too much.

I couldn't help it; it felt good to have somebody else to talk to, about it instead of Rob. I found it hard to talk about this to Rob because it didn't feel as though he understood my pain even though he was in as much pain as I was.

Talking about this Girl to Girl felt a lot easier.

''I think…you should talk about Rob about this…as in properly. You need to sit down and have a proper talk about it. By the sounds of it….you're both in as much pain as each other.'' She was right…but how could I speak to someone who I found unable to even sit down next to anymore? Our marriage was already being torn apart, piece by piece.

***


	3. Coward

**Coward**

* * *

I was a coward. I let my agent stay round all afternoon to speak to her so that I could get out of talking to Rob for a while longer. Rob had grumbled a small comment with something on the lines of; ''I'm going to get the Kids.'' And he didn't sound too happy about it either.

I didn't care though; it was about time he did a little more around the house if he was going to be staying at the house all of the time. That was all I ever asked of him; and I didn't think that it was too much to ask for.

However, I wondered if the reason why he sounded so pissed off about it was because he was still angry about the slap around the face that I had given him this morning. It could have been that, of course.

Katie left shortly after the Kids got home, giving us time to each other to talk. I still couldn't come out with it though, to talk to him even when we put the Kids to bed. He wasn't talking to me, which only made it even more awkward.

And when I made my way upstairs to go to bed after the Kids school bags were all cleared out ready for when they got back to school, on the following Monday; Rob walked downstairs with a duvet and pillow in hand.

Another night on the sofa then.

This infuriated me like hell because he wasn't even going to sleep in the same bed as me! I mean…he was my Husband and he weren't even talking to me anymore. I was so mad with him!!!!!

''Take the duvet back upstairs.'' I ordered him, walking into the living room to see him setting his bed up on the sofa. I wasn't having him sleeping on the sofa when there was our bed upstairs. I was having no more nights with him on the sofa.

We needed to sort this out properly…or at least that's what I thought. Clearly, he disagreed as he wasn't even bothering to talk back to me.

''Fine; I'll do it myself.'' I snapped, trying to take the duvet back from the sofa. I wasn't having another night like this.

''No, you wont!'' Rob sniped back angrily; grabbing the duvet from me and setting it up again. I stared at him angrily; not knowing what to say now. Did he really want this marriage to really fail?

''Well; you're not sleeping downstairs again. I've had enough!'' I shouted at him furiously; trying to take away the duvet from him again. The last month had been like this, almost every night sometimes.

''I don't want to be in the same room with you right now!'' He shouted back, tugging the duvet away from me again, roughly I gasped in shock; not able to believe that he had actually said that to me.

''Fine! Sleep on the fucking sofa again.'' I shouted at him, angrily. ''See, what I care!'' I shouted at him furiously, just as I heard small footsteps on the stairs. I gasped in shock, knowing one of the Kids was awake.

''Now see what you've done!'' I shouted at him angrily, glaring at him in shock. I looked back to the door to see Alainah's small body peek round the living room door. My stomach dropped as soon as I had seen her.

She was bound to be the worst effected if she saw this, and yet; she had. She was the one to have to see this. She walked forward slowly; her dark eyes widened in shock as she held onto her teddy bear and noticed what was going on.

''Mommy…have you and Daddy fallen out?'' She asked in a sad voice. I smiled at her, trying my best to lie to her.

''No, we're fine.'' I promised her, kneeling down to her to look her in the eyes. But my lie didn't work though…

''Bu-but…w-w-w-why I-I-is Daddy s-s-s-s-s-s-sleeping on the s-s-s-s-s-sofa?'' She gasped out, before she started to cry. My heart jolted in my chest in response as I held her small body to mine. I hated it when she cried.

''Hey sweetie…Mommy and Daddy are fine, honestly. Hey, shh…you're getting all worked up over nothing.'' I told her, even though it wasn't anywhere near the truth. But I had to lie to her; I couldn't tell the truth to the Kids.

''Bu-but…I w-w-want to s-s-sleep with you a-and Daddy!'' She complained through fresh tears. I looked back to Rob to see that he was just as torn about this as I was. We both didn't like it when the Kids cried.

''That's okay baby,'' I soothed her. ''You can sleep with us tonight.'' I promised her, looking back to Rob to make sure that he was alright with this. After all; our Daughter was sobbing here; completely in tears.

He nodded and followed us out of the living room. ''D-D-Daddy; will w-w-w-we be o-o-okay?'' Alainah asked him from my shoulder. I hid my face into the back of her hair; taking in her beautiful smelling, strawberry shampoo and wishing that I could promise her that.

''Of course we will sweetheart.'' He promised her, kissing her on her forehead as we walked into the bedroom. I set her aside, in the middle of us into the bed and we snuggled up together; keeping our eyes on our Daughter instead of on each other.

The next morning was even more awkward between us, if that was even possible what with everything going on between us, right now. God, I wished it would all end but I could see no way out for us as a family right now.

I left Rob in bed asleep when I woke up and took the Kids downstairs after I had had a shower and put on a simple, red shirt with jeans. It was a different mood this morning, between the Kids; awkward, quiet between them. I asked Elizabelle and Edward if anything was wrong, but they said a simple;

''I'm fine.'' and disappeared through the back door to go and meet their friends. I sighed heavily because they hadn't even asked me for my permission to go, which was so not like them. Something was definitely wrong.

''Mommy…can I go into the back garden and play?'' Alainah asked me as she set herself slowly from the kitchen table, with her tiny breakfast bowl in hand. I forced a smile at my gorgeous, little Daughter and took the bowl from her.

''Of course, baby.'' I promised her; rubbing her dark hair back from her forehead and taking her bowl from her. I watched her grin happily in response and run out into the garden to go and play by herself.

And probably the Barbie doll that Rob had brought her last week. It was hilarious; he had brought her a brand new Barbie which was the one Alainah had wanted for ages. You could dress her up with proper clothes these days and wash their hair or something.

It was the one she had desperately wanted for ages and what with everything going on with me and Rob right now; I was only too happy to see her unbothered by it all and quite happy with playing around in the garden by herself.

She always made herself busy; and she would often play outside with her plastic cups and saucers whilst she pretended to make tea for all of her Barbie's and her bunnies that she had kept as toys. And she was doing the same today.

I smiled, and walked over to the phone which was lying on the kitchen side. I decided to ring Tasha and Kellan because it had been such a long time since I saw them Guys. She had Lucas and Livia to bring over too.

They were six years old now, and they often liked playing with little Alainah when they got the chance to play with her outside; that was. I rang her house phone where Tasha picked up with a sleepy 'hello'.

''Hiya Tasha.'' I replied happily. I was surprised I could manage it, with everything going on here at the minute.

''Hey Charlie…how are you?'' She asked me.

''Very good…'' _Liar_; I thought to myself. ''I was just wondering if…you'd like to come round with the Kids? Alainah's here and I know that she'd like to see Livia and Lucas again.'' I added, forcing a laugh out.

''Urm…okay. I'll be round in ten minutes; with the Dog if that's okay?'' She asked me. I smiled in response; her and Kellan's Dog Marley was getting old now and he didn't make any problems at all.

Like Patty who was also old, they got on well and would sit together in the kitchen, not doing anything.

''Of course. I'll see you soon.'' I agreed.

''Yep, bye.'' She agreed, before hanging up on the phone. I sighed heavily as I put the house phone back onto the holder, before walking into the kitchen to wash up. I wiped up all the plates from this morning, wondering where Elizabelle and Edward went before taking the washing upstairs to put away.

I walked into our bedroom and froze in shock. Rob was naked…well, practically naked anyway. He had his boxers on, but besides that…nothing else. His chest was bare and despite all the petty arguments; I found myself unable to look away.

His chest was glorious; the muscles even more evident despite the month that he had been sat doing nothing.

I shook my head clear once and walked into the bedroom; putting his shirts away in the wardrobe, carefully hanging them up before turning to look at him. He kept his eyes to the floor as he slowly pulled his shirt around his body.

''Are you going to see your agent today?'' I asked him, at least trying to make conversation with him. His career mattered to him; I got that, I understood that. But why couldn't he go and see his agent and at least try and make amends?

Was he just too fucking lazy or what?

''What's the point?'' He replied angrily, doing up the buttons on his shirt as I frowned miserably at him. I may as-well have been staring at a dead man. He had given up; on everything. I could see it as he lazily dressed himself.

He couldn't even be bothered to do that anymore. Because he didn't see the point to anything. Not even the Kids. Because his career was at a broken point, and…dare I say it…at a possible end. But he did _still_ have the Kids in his life, so there was a point.

And him saying this just made me angry. ''I'll give you three points; Elizabelle, Edward and Alainah. They hate it when they see you this unhappy and don't even try to tell me that the Kids don't know; because they're not stupid!'' I spat angrily before he could speak.

''Oh, and if you still count me; that's a fourth point. Incase you were wondering; I hate it when you're like this. And if you think I'm just going to let you sit around for another month doing nothing; you're wrong.'' I spelled it out for him.

I grabbed the other house phone from the bedroom side and threw it on the bed, next to him. ''Ring your agent or I'll ring him for you. And if I have to ring him; I wont be very nice.'' I spat angrily at him.

He sighed heavily but dialed his agent's number as I stormed back out of the bedroom. I went into each of the Kid's bedrooms to put their clothes away; listening confused as Rob's conversation with his agent turned nasty.

''You've got a cheek.'' I heard him say, confusing me. Did he want to get another acting job in or was he totally trying to wreck his career? Because you just didn't speak to your agent like that if you wanted work.

''Yes, it's a no! She's my Daughter and I will definitely not be taking advantage of her for the sake of my poxy career!'' He shouted angrily, before angrily slamming the phone back onto the holder.

I walked into our bedroom confused, to see Rob stood up; staring right at me furiously. As soon as he mentioned our Daughter, I wanted to know what he was talking about. What had his agent suggested about our Daughter?

''What did he say?'' I asked Rob confused, who must have been really pissed off because he instantly launched into an assault over his agent's behavior.

''He wants me to do some fucking stupid film…worthless to my career but he wants Elizabelle to be in it. And I'm not doing it; I don't care how much money he offers me; I refuse to do it!'' He admitted.

I nodded, trying to take this in. ''Well…okay, maybe you should just give it some thinking-''

''No way! There's no way that I'm Elizabelle take part in this career; not until she's old enough to make up her mind about being an actress.'' He interrupted me, making me smile a little bit. Just a little bit.

This was what I wanted from him! Reactions, rather than just moping about. And of course, he was right; we couldn't let Elizabelle take part in this, not until she was older. I didn't want any of our Children getting involved in this career until they were older and could make the decision for themselves.

Rob was very famous in this industry and they would never get past the name thing anyway. They would always be known as 'Robert Pattinson's Children'. At least when they were older; they could understand more and choose to do it themselves.

''I agree. But…well, maybe you should think about taking on a new agent. I'm not asking you to do it just to get some money in; we have plenty enough, but I'm just sick of you sitting at home everyday. You need to get out and start living again.'' I told him, because it was true.

It was no point being cooped up in here everyday. It only confused the Kids as much as it infuriated me; because I could see just how bored he was sat at home with me…especially through our problems.

''I guess.'' He replied simply. I huffed in response, because he forced himself to agree and walked out of the bedroom before I said something that I regretted to him. I mean god…I had been trying to help him when I had suggested it.

When I got downstairs, Tasha was walking in the front gate with Kellan, Marley and the twins; Livia and Lucas. I forced a smile, trying to make it sit right on my face so that I could look like I was okay.

I wanted her to think that I was okay; until I finally got this whole mess sorted out with me and Rob anyway. I didn't want anybody to know what we had gone through in the last two years after it was so awkward between me and my agent yesterday when I told her.

''Hey,'' I said as cheerfully as possible when Tasha walked into the front door. She giggled as Patty jumped up at her feet, barking at her. This was unusual for Patty to do. I rolled my eyes at our silly Dog and pulled her away from Tasha.

''Don't be silly; it's Tasha!'' I told Patty, picking her up in my arms to stop her from jumping up at Tasha anymore. She laughed again and let Marley off the lead as Kellan followed her into the door.

''It's so good to see you.'' She told me, hugging me to her carefully despite Patty still being in my arms. I smiled against her shoulder because the truth was; it was so good to see her too. I hadn't seen her for weeks now.

''And you! How are you?'' I asked her, leaving the front door open for the Kids to run in and out if they wanted to and walked back into the kitchen.

''Very good thanks…a bit tired because of Livia and Lucas, but still happy!'' She replied enthusiastically, grinning at me. I smiled back and looked to Kellan, who was grinning as always. He turned to laugh at his kids.

I looked out the kitchen window and laughed too. Livia and Lucas was chasing Alainah around the garden and she was loving every minute of it as Lucas tried to tag her, bless Alainah. It was good to see.

''And you Kellan? You alright?'' I asked him, knowing that I would probably get some enthusiastic, happy reply from him. He was always happy; glad to see someone was. Even if I wasn't.

''Hell yeah! The Kids are wearing me out though; I'm teaching them how to be the best baseball player just like me.'' He joked, winking at me. I laughed in response, rolling my eyes at his joke. Even if he was very good at baseball, Rob wasn't.

''Well…at least you're teaching him instead of that one upstairs.'' I joked, trying to have a laugh with them. Truth was; I didn't want anybody to know the problems me and Rob were having because the more that I talked about it, the more it made it that more real.

Marley chased Patty out of the front door, barking at it, and making us all laugh. I rolled my eyes in response and flicked on the kettle whilst we sat at the kitchen table and talked a bit; leaving the Kids to play.

''So what have you been up to?'' I asked Tasha and Kellan.

''Not much…taking the kids to school, picking them up. And they've had a lot of homework to do lately, so I've been helping them with that. What about you?'' She admitted, smiling happily. It was so good to see that she was so happy.

''Urm…not much. My agent came round yesterday to talk about the follow up to Tainted Soul; the last book. I should have it published in the next few weeks.'' I admitted happily, unable to stop smiling about that, at least.

''Wow…that's good.'' Tasha agreed, before her eyes started to look to the hallway. I knew what she was doing. She knew all about Rob and how his career was going. She was probably wondering.

''How's…Rob doing?'' She asked me unsure.

I struggled to keep the smile on my face as she asked about him. Despite everything going on between us; my heart still ached for his pain. But he wasn't exactly helping things for himself, either.

''To be honest…not good.'' I forced myself to admit, sighing heavily as I did. ''He rang his agent today…and I don't know the details, but it sounded like he wanted Rob to work alongside Elizabelle…of course you could imagine his reaction to that one. He wasn't best pleased.'' I admitted.

''I can see his point though.'' Tasha agreed, trying to be helpful.

I smiled. ''Oh no, I can totally see why he wasn't happy with what his agent said, but…well, the fact is…if he doesn't get any work soon…I just don't know what's going to happen to him, to us. He's got himself stuck in a right rut.'' I confirmed unhappily.

''God….I didn't know that it was that bad!'' She said in shock. I sighed heaving again; wishing that I had good news to tell them rather than bad news.

''Just a bit…god, I don't know what I'm going to do if this carries on, Tasha. I wish I had good news to tell you, but…I don't know what more I can do. He's really in a bad way.'' I admitted, as she touched her hand to mine.

I felt so guilty about admitting this; for Tasha and for Rob too. He hated me talking about him, and I knew that I should be talking to Rob about this, but how could I when he was being like how he was?

Before she could say anything, the house phone rang then. ''I'll be back in a sec,'' I sighed, getting up from the table and rubbing some moisture in my eyes. I answered the phone in the hallway.

''Hello?'' I asked.

''Charlie?'' It was Rachael. God, I hadn't seen her for weeks although I knew that Leo and Elizabelle were in the same class and were always together, these days at their school. But I hadn't seen Rachael, Jackson or Leo.

''Hey Rach.'' I said, trying to sound enthusiastic at her phone call. I was happy, but I was just so upset about everything going on with Rob and everything.

''Charlie…it's nice to hear your voice and everything…but I also rang you because er…your Kids around here. And I take it that you didn't know?'' She questioned, making me gasp in response. Oh my god!!

''No, I didn't. Are they still round there?'' I asked her furiously. I was angry now, because Rachael and Jackson's house was a mile down the road and what I wanted to know was how my Kids could have gotten there so quickly.

How could ten year old Children walk a mile? I mean were they trying to give me a heart attack for worrying so much about them? God; they were just ten years old and eight years old for god sake.

''Yeah, they are…Charlie, please don't go mad; I think Elizabelle just really wanted to see Leo.'' She admitted, making me confused. It was just because she saw him every single day and I didn't understand why had rushed around Rachael's house for.

''Why…I mean…I don't understand.''

''Charlie…I don't know what's going on with you and Rob right now, but…Elizabelle's really upset. I've left her outside with Leo and Edward, but…she's crying and everything.'' She admitted, making me gasp in shock.

So she had heard. She must have heard me and Rob last night, because that was surely why she was so upset. She was a clever Girl and she presumably guessed exactly what was going on right now.

''I'll be there in five minutes.'' I promised her.

''Okay, bye.'' She agreed, before hanging up.

I rushed into the kitchen, only focused on seeing Elizabelle and making sure that she was alright. God, I felt so terrible now; sat discussing all of my problems when our Daughter was in so much pain.

''The Kids are around Rachael and Jackson's. I'll try and hurry up back here, but can you just tell Rob that I've gone to pick Elizabelle and Edward up…she's really upset apparently.'' I told them, grabbing my mobile from the kitchen side.

''Yeah, of course. I'll see you in a minute then.'' Tasha agreed.

''Yep.'' I agreed, sprinting through the front door. I ran past Alainah and the Children as Alainah stopped to stare at me, confused.

''Mommy where are you going?'' She called confused.

''To pick Elizabelle and Edward up, sweetie. I'll be home all day then.'' I confirmed, jumping in the car and racing out of the gates as soon as they were open.

***

* * *

Chapter song; Red-Daniel Merryweather 


	4. Bitter

**Bitter**

* * *

I ran into Rachael's house after I saw no sign of the Kids, to find Rachael in the living room sat down next to Elizabelle. Rachael was hugging her; Elizabelle's curly locks looking even more erratic now.

''Elizabelle, sweetie.'' I said, walking towards her and pressing my hand to her shoulder. Rachael gave me a funny look…something that I couldn't recognize but my eyes were on Elizabelle anxiously as she sobbed into Rachael's shoulder.

''Don't touch me! I hate you!'' She shouted, shocking me. She turned around and glared at me through narrowed, chocolate brown eyes; tears rimming out from them freely as she sobbed her hate at me.

And I could see that she meant it. Her eyes were cold as she stared at me furiously. My heart ached inside my chest as I struggled to say something.

''Elizabelle, I-''

''I _know_ you and Dad are having problems! And I know that you're trying to act like some happy family! But what's the point when we all know that you both hate each other!'' She shouted at me furiously.

I couldn't help but winch a little bit in response but I tried to recover myself from the shock of her saying this. I mean…I knew she was clever, but she had got the last bit wrong. I didn't hate him, and we didn't hate each other; not really.

We still loved each other.

''Elizabelle, we don't hate each other-''

''DON'T LIE TO ME!'' She screamed angrily at me. ''I'm fed up of you both lying to me! You're both as bad as each other. You just think I'm a little kid, don't you?'' She continued; still shouting at me.

''Elizabelle please…you're only ten years old and its really not that bad honey…I promise you its not. We'll be okay.'' I promised her, ruffling my hand through her gorgeous curled hair. She pulled my hand away from her.

''I don't want to hear it! I hate you and I hate Dad! And I want to stay here with Leo!'' She shouted at me furiously before walking out of the living room. Rachael smiled at me apologetically.

I sighed and walked out of the living room, following her into the garden where she sat on a garden bench next to Leo. I stood covered for a minute, watching what she was doing. She was crying so bad, and god…I felt so awful!

But she couldn't just stay here either. She had to come home to us. She was our little Girl, she couldn't just stay here!

Leo pressed one of his hands in hers; wrapping an arm around her as he tried to comfort her through her tears. He kissed her on her cheek gently, waking me up to reality. Because it was then that I realized it.

Her and Leo were a lot closer than I first thought they were. Not as anything romantic; of course not, they were only ten years old, but…as Siblings. Leo was there for Elizabelle as a Brother; the two were so close that they were practically inseparable.

And that was why she wanted to stay with Leo; because she had someone to really look after her. She had Edward too, but…it was probably not the same thing. Edward was a bit younger than Elizabelle, but Leo…he was the same age as Elizabelle.

He could really understand the pain she was going through. They were both very clever Kids and the very best friends. How could I deny Elizabelle her happiness when everything was going on with me and Rob right now?

She probably couldn't wait to get out of the house because of everything going on. I sighed guiltily and walked back into the living room. How could I tell her that she was in the wrong when she was so upset about this?

I didn't have the strength to tell her off.

''Do you mind if Elizabelle stays here? I cant tell her off when she's so upset…I don't have it in me. I can understand why she wants to stay here with everything going on at home.'' I sighed heavily.

''Is things really that bad…between you and Rob then?'' She asked me confused. I forced myself to nod, despite how much I wanted to say no and deny that we were having problems like I was used to doing.

''Unfortunately, yes.'' I sighed.

''God…well…of course Elizabelle can stay here. As long as you're okay with it.'' She checked. I nodded, forcing myself to again. I couldn't stand to see Elizabelle so upset like she was. It was so wrong to put her through anymore pain.

''Well…I just want her to be happy. And if she's happier here, then of course she can stay here for a while.'' I forced myself to agree. Rachael smiled in response and nodded in agreement to what I was saying.

''Of course.'' She agreed.

I looked to the stairs after hearing someone to see that Edward was walking down them. He smiled at me sheepishly, running one hand through the top of his hair just like how his Father would.

''Er…sorry for running off like that, Mom.'' He apologized sheepishly, making me smile in response.

''There's no need to apologize, honey.'' I promised him. He smiled in response and ran his hand through his hair again.

''Can we er…go home, Mom?'' He asked me, sounding as though he really wanted to go home, even though he didn't want to admit it. God knows why he wanted to go home to such awful parents for; I had no clue.

''Of course sweetie, let's go home.'' I promised him, before looking back to Rachael. ''I'll see you soon.'' I promised her. I knew it was true; I couldn't not come round more often now that Elizabelle was due to stay round here.

She nodded and watched me disappear through the living room door. I walked him to the front door where Elizabelle is. When I tried to hug her though she all but pulled away. I sighed and walked through the front door with Edward following behind me.

''She's really out of order.'' Edward huffed as we got into the car. I sighed, trying not to cry in front of Edward about everything going on right now; which included Elizabelle's choice to stay here.

''She's just angry with me; she had every right to be what with me and your Father having problems. I should have told you both sooner.'' I promised him as I drove away from Rachael's house.

''No, you shouldn't have. Mom, we're just Kids. You're the adults; we both know that nothing is going to come from you and Dad falling out. You both still love each other right?'' He asked me straight out; unusual for Edward.

''Well er…of course we do.'' I replied truthfully. I would always love Rob, whether we broke up or not. He was my true love, and whatever problems we had with each other, we could usually be sorted out.

''Exactly. So what would be the point telling us? I'm eight years old, Elizabelle is ten. It has nothing to do with us.'' But god…it was like speaking to an adult with Edward and Elizabelle. They were far too clever for their own good.

''I wouldn't worry Edward, really. She'll want to come home once she's calmed down enough. She's just angry with me.'' I told him.

''But Mommy…you haven't done anything wrong. Its not fair.'' He said, as I tried to control the tears slipping past my eyes.

''It's fine, Edward.'' I promised him quietly.

But he still looked over at me to see that I was crying now. I wished that he hadn't, because in that moment; everything was catching up with me. My own Daughter hated me right now, and my marriage was in shatters.

''Mom, pull over.'' He begged, seeing that I was struggling to drive as the tears slipped past my eyes. But I couldn't…I had to keep driving, to get back home where I so desperately wanted to be right now.

''I'm fine, Edward.'' I promised him even though I really wasn't.

''No Mom, you're not. Pull over.'' He begged me. I sighed, but did what he said and pulled into a free lay-by. And that was when my breakdown really hit me like a ton of bricks. There was just no stopping it.

As soon as the engine was off, I cried and cried and cried and felt so guilty because couldn't hold it back; especially as Edward was the one to comfort me. He wrapped his arms around me and hushed me whilst I cried.

My young, smart, beautiful, little Boy.

''Mom, it's okay.'' Edward promised me quietly in my ear as I tried to apologize to him for crying. I hadn't wanted Edward to see that. ''I love you, Mom.'' He promised me, kissing me on my cheek.

''I love you too, honey.'' I promised him, watching him sit back down on the chair as I calmed myself down.

''Are you alright now?'' He asked me anxiously.

I nodded, and forced myself to drive back to the house; to face what I knew I was going to have to face when I got home from Rob, thanks to Elizabelle staying at Rachael's house for a while. Now I would have that to sort out!

And I was right.

I walked into the house, to see Rob standing in the hallway, watching me in shock. I sighed heavily in response, turning to look at Edward incase yet another row kicked off. It was bound to happen after all.

''Where's Elizabelle?'' Rob demanded, before I even had the chance to ask Edward to go upstairs and give him some space.

''Still at Jackson and Rachael's.'' I replied, turning to look at Rob. He didn't look too happy about that at all. Of course, he wouldn't; she was his little Girl. He spoilt her rotten and now look what had happened!

''Why isn't she coming home? Did you do something to upset her?'' He demanded, pissed off. I huffed at him in response.

''Why do I have to be the one to blame for? She's a clever Girl, Rob; I think she could probably work out that something wasn't right between us.'' I spat back, trying not to sound too pissed off with him in front of Edward.

Rob didn't hold back though. ''Because you were the one to go and see her. And if you'd have just let me go and talk to her; she'd have been coming back to the house now.'' He said smugly. He was so wrong!

''What? You really think she wants to come home to this? Let me tell you something Rob; the reason why Elizabelle wants to stay at Rachael's is because we keep arguing. And why is that, I wonder?'' I asked him sarcastically.

''I'll tell you why, Rob. Because we keep arguing and its your fault. You're the one sat here at the house doing nothing all day.'' I reminded him angrily, only making him even angrier. It wasn't my fault that he couldn't face up to facts.

''I don't even know why you're complaining for! I brought this house remember; just like how I buy everything.''

''Are you bloody joking me! Don't use that line on me!'' I warned him, pushing him away from me furiously before I really lost it.

Edward watched us in shock, not knowing what to say and it was only when I looked round to him that the guilt caught up with me. He really didn't need to see this; it wasn't right on him, after all.

''I'm sorry honey, its just that-''

''That you're Mother likes to make an argument about everything these days!'' Rob interrupted me, making me furious again. How could he just say it like that; in front of Edward too? He had absolutely no right!

''Dad!'' Edward complained, but he ignored his Son and carried on; giving me more and grief which I definitely didn't need.

''What happened to you, Charlie? You used to actually care; you know, the old, confident Charlie; the one just after Alainah was born. You've changed; you don't even seem to care anymore!'' He continued.

He was wrong, so wrong…and the more that I stood here and argued with him; the more that I wanted to cry. But did he stop? Did he hell! He just continued and continued; dragging me down with every spiteful comment that he threw at me.

''I know things have been hard for us a while, and I know that we've had problems; but it doesn't give you right to go around talking to everyone else about it! If you've got a problem; you should speak to me. Not your best mates, behind my back!'' He shouted, making me gasp in shock.

''Now hang on a minute! I only told Tasha because I needed somebody to talk to. It doesn't feel as though you don't understand how I'm feeling anymore Rob-''

''Oh, I don't know how you're feeling?'' he asked back as though I was being ridiculous. But I wasn't; I was just being truthful and the more that he shouted at me, the more worked up I got about this.

''Yeah, right…and what am I; some mind reader now? How am I supposed to know what you're feeling when you don't even talk to me?'' he demanded furiously.

''Rob…please…just…stop…not in front of-''

''Why not? Because what I'm saying is the truth, right? And the more that we don't talk about this, the more chance that this marriage is not going to work out!'' He shouted making me gasp in shock.

''Dad, stop it!'' Edward complained, but did he hell! This shocked me; he was behaving like a totally different person which automatically made me wonder if he had been drinking. He would never have spoken to me like this otherwise.

''What about our baby, Charlie? You don't even give a thought to him!'' That was when I knew I had to stop him. I couldn't let anyone know; especially not Edward. He couldn't find out like this!!

''Rob, stop…please-''

''Why should I?'' He interrupted me. I ignored him, and told Edward to go upstairs, before I totally lost my patience with Rob. I could feel it coming on, and I didn't want Edward to witness this. And as soon as Edward was in his room, Rob started again.

''You don't even talk about our Baby, Charlie! It's like you didn't even care about him. Don't you think that I was in the same pain as you? I still am and now you wont even talk about him! I loved him too and I was just in as much pain as you!''

''You didn't feel any pain!'' I shouted back, losing it with him now as tears slipped down my face freely. ''I was the one in pain, Rob! Me! I wanted the one thing that I couldn't have! I was the one who had to keep a brave face on in front of everyone when I wanted to break down in tears and tell everyone about how much pain I was in!'' His eyes widened a little in shock, but I didn't stop there.

''How could you even compare my pain to yours! You went through nothing compared to what I went through! I had to put on some fake façade and bury my own Son when he was just days old! How do you think that makes me feel? You went through _nothing_ compared to what I went through. I was the one who had to give birth to my dead baby! You don't know anything!'' I shouted at him angrily, before I had to stop then.

Tears gave way to the temper and I sobbed into my hands; forcing my eyes downwards to hide away from the disappointment that I could feel rising from him. I let myself go; breaking down in tears as I thought about my poor, little Boy again.

I couldn't stand this pain; two years on and it was still the same. I hadn't even visited his grave because it was just too much, even still. How was that even possible? I was in so much pain, even now.

And then I saw a pair of feet walk out from the kitchen door. I gasped in shock, recognizing the feet as Tasha's. I looked at her; crying harder as I realized by her shocked expression that she had heard everything.

''Is this true?'' She asked Rob in shock. I looked at him; hating him more than I ever had right now. He nodded, looking somewhat guilty now. Good! He deserved the guilt! Because I absolutely hated him now!

She shook her head angrily at him and turned to me. ''Why on earth didn't you tell us?'' She asked me in shock, holding her arms out for me. I accepted them straight away; only crying even more as I pictured the Baby that I had lost.

''I couldn't even talk about it. Even now…god, I miss him so much, Tasha!'' I sobbed into her shoulder, wishing that she was him right now at the minute. I wanted my Baby, in my arms and safe and well as I lulled him to sleep.

''I know you do. And I wished you would have told us; I mean, god! We would have been there for you, you should know that.'' She promised me; moving away my sticky hair from the sides of my face.

''I know, I know…I'm sorry!'' I apologized between fresh new tears.

''Don't be silly! _You_ don't need to apologize.'' She promised me, seeming to point the blame at Rob. Good. I hated him more than I ever had before. ''Do you want to go back to mine with Alainah and Edward tonight?'' She asked me, but I shook my head as I slowly started to calm back down again.

''No…no. I don't want any more transitions in the Kids life…I don't want them ever finding out about this. I cant even…I just…I-I cant…not about my little Boy.'' I told her, pulling away from her as I tried to control my sobs.

I rubbed my eyes.

''I know, babes. It's okay; like I said; _you_ don't need to apologize.'' She promised me, before giving a look to Rob. ''I'll be round tomorrow morning.'' She told us, before walking through the back door on her own.

Kellan must have gone home already which was good because I didn't want anybody else to hear my breakdown. Especially not Kellan. There was no disrespect to Kellan, but…it would have been difficult; letting him hear me crying after he was so close to Rob too.

Tasha was my best friend and I didn't want to put Kellan in an awkward situation by hearing me cry like how I was. Especially not with how Tasha had found out about the Baby. He was still Rob's very best friend, and Tasha, mine.

''Charlie, I-''

''You're on the sofa, tonight.'' I spelled it out for him. I stormed past him and going upstairs to see my Baby. I didn't wait for his reply as I walked into Alainah's room, and shut the door behind me.

She was sat up in her bed; her eyes wide as she looked at me confused. I just smiled, struggling not to break down again. I wanted to hold Alainah to me, whilst she was still so young. I wanted her in my arms, just like how I couldn't have with my baby Son.

''Hey baby,'' I whispered, kneeling on the floor right next to her bed. She struggled to smile at me, but she did manage a small smile, bless her. I knew that she was upset and I guessed that she had heard shouting, at least.

''Did Daddy fall out with you again?'' She guessed smartly. God, I wished my Kids could be less clever. It didn't help that they could hear everything. I hated explaining arguments to the Children. Because I always had to face the aftermath of it; not Rob.

''A little bit,'' I admitted, lying. Really; it was a difficult patch that we had hit in our marriage. And right now; I wasn't too sure what I could do to fix it. So how could I fix it when I didn't know what to do?

''Oh, I hate it when you and Daddy argue!'' She complained, pouting miserably. My heart ached in response; wishing that I could promise her that we wouldn't argue again…but knowing us; it would be a promise broken.

''I know baby, I'm sorry.'' I apologized sincerely.

She exhaled sharply. ''That's okay, Mommy.'' She promised, making me smile. She was so sweet and I was so proud to have these three Children to be proud of…even if I didn't have my little Boy to hold.

''Can Mommy sleep with you tonight? Mommy needs to be held by a little angel like you.'' I said to her; trying to make the best joke out of it as I could. I tickled one side of her neck gently for a moment, making her giggle in response, in her playful, childish laughter.

''Of course she can! Just don't take up all the room!'' She begged me. I laughed in response, climbing into her bed and wrapping my arms tight around her. I loved her so much…I loved all of my Children, even…even _him_.

But Rob…right now, I hated him more than ever for making me breakdown like that. I didn't want to cry as badly as I did.

''I love you, Alainah Pattinson.'' I whispered against her dark brown hair which smelt of luscious strawberries.

''I love you too, Mommy. Night.'' She promised me, as I kissed her forehead.

I sighed in response, trying not to cry as this nightmare hit me more and more by the second. When would this devastation ever stop?

***


End file.
